“Live today. Let go of your attachment to your past … You are the product of the choices you are making right now.”~ Wayne Dyer
Do you have an unhealthy attachment? It could be anything … a bad habit, a relationship, or even an attachment to how you feel things should be? Attachments that cause you to suffer, or feel discontent, with your life should be examined honestly with the commitment to letting go, in order to find peace in your life. Here are some ideas and guidance for you to help you on your path:
- Pay attention and admit it.
It can be so easy to ignore whatever it is you would rather get rid of, but if you haven’t already, you must start by admitting to yourself that you have a problem.
In order to do this, you have to accept that you are not bad for having this problem; many others have had the same problem. If you can see that your issue isn’t a reflection on you as a person, you can see and admit the problem without being overwhelmed by self-blame.
- Understand why you do it.
We all have a reason for doing what we do. Even the things we hate to do; even the things we try to let go of. They remain in our lives because something in our life is dependent on our attachment to it. If you haven’t let go of your attachment, it is because part of you believes that you are better off with it. Look at your motivation – does it make you feel secure? Does it make you feel in control? Does it make you comfortable?
- See that your desires are not being met.
Once you understand why you do it, you can ask yourself “is it working?”. Are you getting what you’re looking for? If you can see and fully accept that your desires are not being met, you then need to accept that you don’t really want it. You can’t let go if you’re not sure you really want to.
Ask yourself: What is this attachment doing for me? Chances are that instead of making you feel safe and joyful, you are feeling tired, anxious, unhappy, and unable to really live a full, content life.
- Shift the focus to caring for yourself.
Take the opportunity to ask yourself how you are doing, and what you can do to feel better. Accept yourself just as you are, and acknowledge that you are worth a healthy life. Make yourself a priority.
Investigate what it means to be kind to yourself; look for ways to tend to your well-being. You need to remind yourself that you really are worth the effort!
- Embrace hopeful thoughts.
Instead of focusing on what you would lose or how hard it would be, open yourself up to the possibilities. Embracing a positive outlook, without negative self-speak, will help you feel more confident, more peaceful, and more joyful. Smile, deep breathe, and accept the feeling of freedom. Meditate on the positive feeling, instead of the captivity of your former attachment.
- Consider the wisdom found in religion/spirituality.
A feeling of deep comfort and connectedness can be found by learning about or reconnecting to faith. Feeling love and connectedness toward the world and others can help us to find and feel love toward ourselves.
- Practice a thankful attitude.
Put together a gratitude list that you can add to every day. It can be a seemingly small, like a warm bed at night or a favourite meal that evening, but by noting them, we can avoid taking them for granted; you’ll feel grateful that you have them. This cultivates a spirit of thankfulness and brings a sense of joy.
- Be around support.
Take time to visit with supportive friends and family. Choose people you feel comfortable around and can share your heart with, even if it is just to be around them and not discuss what’s going on.
Be aware of any tendency to isolate yourself, and seek out others instead of being alone.
- Take care of yourself physically.
Just as the mind can affect the body, and negative thoughts can make us tired and anxious, the body can affect the mind also. You won’t be as strong mentally if you are feeling bad physically. It’s hard to move forward if you are apathetic. Find physically outlets for your stress, such as:
– Exercise: Exercise increases oxygen in the body which makes your organs work better and raises your endorphins, which will improve your mental clarity. Try moving a few times a week for 20 minutes each time.
– Deep breathing: most of us are not aware that we tend to take shallow breaths, so it is important to start paying attention and to deep breathe during the day.
– Diet: improving your diet will improve your ability to think clearly. Move away from junk foods, increase water intake, and move to a more whole-foods diet.
We tend to want to see improvement and change right away, but be patient with yourself. If you fall back from time to time, don’t be discouraged. Change is a step-by-step journey, and a slip-up does not negate your prior successes.
Instead of looking at it as a negative, embrace the beauty of it. Every challenge is an opportunity to discover the life we were intended to have.
The end result of working to change is always worth the effort.